Upon hearing I am a Life Coach, I often hear people, respond, “My life is good enough.” While that saddens my heart — why would people settle for “Good Enough” — I also know we all do it! We are all guilty of putting up with less than we really want.
That darned status quo, it can keep us stuck – even of we don’t like it!
Why do we put up with “Good Enough”?
Well, the short answer is we don’t know any better. We don’t even realize that we are putting put up with it — we haven’t even considered another way.
The long answer is a part of us believes we can’t do better. Our brain is literally keeping us stuck with a message lodged in our subconscious brain so we don’t even know it is there.
On some level of our being, whether we know it or now, we don’t:
- feel we deserve better
- expect better
- think we have the skills to create better
- have the energy to do something different
Actually, that last one plays a bigger part than we realize. Even if we know something isn’t the way we want it to be, we can’t muster the energy to make the change we are desiring. It is easier to keep going with day-to-day activities: Getting up, going to work, coming home, making dinner, watching tv, and going to sleep to do it all over again.
Weeks, months, years, a lifetime, can go by not living the life we really want.
We all do it! No one is immune. We all have areas in our life that are great and ones we wish were different, running the gamut from mediocre to downright miserable. And they will stay that way until we finally decide enough’s enough.
I call it the “wake up moment” and it usually follows a “rock bottom moment”, when things finally get so bad we finally wake up to make a change.
How do you know if you are settling for “good enough”?
Well, first of all, we all do it! Yep, we do. We all have an area of our life that is less than fully satisfying. Knowing that, consider these areas of your life. Rate them on a scale of 1 (deeply unsatisfying) to 5 (Extraordinary!):
- Relationships: What are your relationships like, both intimate and casual? You might find you have a different number for your intimate relationships than for friends or for family. Let yourself muse on your relationships and consider whether they are as satisfying as you would like them to be.
- Career: Do you do what you love? Are you living your passion? Do you believe your passion will pay you enough money to live?
- Money: Do you trust money? Do you believe you can earn what you need (and do you right now?)? Do you trust being able to spend money. Do you hoard it? Do you spend what you don’t have?
- Health: How is your health? Do you treat your body with love and care?
- Other: Are there any other areas you need to work on that aren’t listed?
So now what? You just realized an area is less than what you want it to be. What do you do?
- Figure out what you want: Now that you are aware of the area of your life that is not fully satisfying, what do you want? What would make it a 5 for you? (Not sure how? Here are a few ideas to get you started.)
- Know it will take energy: It takes energy to step beyond the inertial of the status quo. The more drawn into your old ways the more energy it will take. What will you do to build excitement around the change and keep yourself going? (Need to light a fire? Here are a couple of ideas. Learn more about self-care here.)
- Set a transition date: Set a date for when you will begin. I like to put it out in the future a few days or weeks. It allows me to compile a plan and build energy to catapult me through the inertia.
- Know it can get messy: Yep, you will not be perfect. Yet, on some level, we think we will or should be. Then when we have a lapse and fall back into old consciousness we are disappointed and ready to give up. It will NOT happen that way! When you fall back, know the next moment is a fresh one to make a new decision. (Important point! Read more here.)
- Build personal strength: You need some “umph”, some “I SO deserve this and I CAN do it!” (And add a “dammit” to the end for a bit more chutzpah!) There are a few ways to do this. Personally, this is perfect for the yoga mat. (Take it to your yoga mat! It’s a powerful tool. Start here then go here. The second link has a video that takes you through the series shown in the first link.)
AND go! Yep, you are ready!
Let me know what happens! Would love to personally support you!