A Coaching Moment: Set Point for Joy

We all have a set point for joy — as good as we are willing to feel before becoming uncomfortable. Think about it in your own life, haven’t you ever noticed that your low points don’t last too long and neither do your high points? (If you can’t quite see it in your life, think about people you are close to – we usually see it in others’ lives before we can see it in our own.)

We are like a thermostat, if you get too happy, your subconscious puts on the breaks for the good stuff. (“This won’t last…”  “What if I lose it all?”  “What if I screw up?”)  It seems incredibly peculiar to do that to yourself, “how could I possibly NOT want to be joyful?” And, yet, there it is. So what can you do to up your joy set point?

• Get a Vision:  What do you want?  You need a vision, an idea of what you want to create with your life.  Where are you going?  And then get excited about it.  Think about it.  Create a Vision Board.  Start to get more comfortable with more good in your life by…

• Acclimating: Acclimate yourself slowly to your vision.  Imagine yourself with everything you want.  Sit in a car you want to buy, visit homes you might want, spend time with friends who have the marriage you crave.  Whether you are imagining it or actually there physically doesn’t matter to the mind.  When you feel the doubt, the discomfort, the fear, know it is simply your brain trying to turn on the thermostat.  Sit with it and the brain will eventually recalibrate.

• Feel Good: Do something (or several things) to help yourself feel good each day.  They can be little things just done consciously.  Drinking water, fresh air, spending time with friends who love you truly unconditionally, reading inspirational books, check out my Feel Good Moments.  (Guess what?  I post them specifically for that purpose!)

• Make it Smaller:  If you keep bumping into the ceiling, make smaller changes.  Then you can acclimate to the good stuff more slowly.

That should get you started.