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Let’s Get One Thing Straight: You’re Not Failing at Self-Care

If you’re in midlife and feeling exhausted, edgy, wired-but-tired, or just off — let me say this clearly:

You are not broken.

You are not lazy.

And you are definitely not doing self-care “wrong.”

What’s actually happening is this:

Your body is operating under different rules now, and no one handed you the updated manual.

This is Part 2 of my Start Here series for midlife women. In Part 1, we talked about wellness foundations and supporting your body. This episode — and this post — are about supporting your mind, nervous system, and energy, so you can finally feel better instead of constantly managing symptoms.

Because real self-care in midlife isn’t about doing more.

It’s about doing what works now.

Resources for you:

Part 1: Self-Care for Midlife: 7 Essential Practices to Raise Your Vibration & Feel Great!

TIRED AF YOGA SERIES:

🎥 Playlist on YouTube

💌 Email List for more inspo and gentle nudges

 

My Year to Thrive videos:

➡️ SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel for FREE: Yoga + Life Coaching with Laura

 

PRIVATE LIFE COACHING:

Private Coaching when you are ready for the ultimate, exclusive experience: Life Coaching with Laura

READ: 

Why Midlife Feels So Different (and Why That Matters)

Most of us entered midlife already tired.

Years — decades — of:

  • caring for others
  • managing stress
  • pushing through
  • ignoring our own needs
  • wearing overwhelm like a badge of honor

And then hormones begin to shift.

Suddenly:

  • Sleep doesn’t come easily
  • Weight settles differently (hello, cortisol belly)
  • Anxiety feels louder
  • Recovery takes longer
  • The nervous system feels permanently “on”

Here’s the key thing many women don’t realize:

By midlife, cortisol becomes a much bigger player.

Your stress response — the sympathetic nervous system — has likely been running the show for years. And now, without intentional repair, it doesn’t know how to turn off.

1. Nervous System Repair Is the New Self-Care

Let’s talk physiology for a moment — in plain English.

You have two main nervous system states:

Sympathetic = fight, flight, push, perform

Parasympathetic = rest, digest, heal, repair

Most midlife women are living almost entirely in the sympathetic state.

That means:

  • Elevated cortisol
  • Shallow breathing
  • Poor sleep
  • Inflammation
  • Slower healing
  • Stubborn weight

 

This is why another workout, stricter diet, or more discipline often backfires.

What your body needs first is safety.

This is why practices like:

  • Breathwork
  • Vagus nerve stimulation
  • Gentle yoga
  • Lymphatic massage
  • Restorative practices

are not “extras.”

They are foundational.

2. Sleep Is Not a Luxury — It’s a Hormonal Strategy

If there’s one place to start, it’s sleep.

Poor sleep affects:

  • cortisol
  • insulin sensitivity
  • mood
  • focus
  • immune health
  • weight regulation

And yet, many women treat sleep like something they’ll “get back to later.”

In midlife, sleep becomes a keystone habit.

When sleep improves, everything else becomes easier.

This is why calming the nervous system before bed — not scrolling, not pushing, not numbing — is essential.

3. Why Your Morning Routine Matters More Than You Think

How you start your day sets the tone for your nervous system.

Even 5–10 minutes of:

  • intentional breathing
  • gentle movement
  • grounding

can shift your stress response for hours.

This isn’t about productivity.

It’s about regulation.

A regulated nervous system makes better choices, handles stress more gracefully, and has access to creativity and energy.

4. The Power of a Monthly Retreat Day

This might sound radical at first — but stay with me.

A monthly retreat day is one of the most powerful self-care tools I know, especially for midlife women.

Not a vacation.

Not errands in disguise.

A day with intention.

A retreat day helps you:

  • notice what’s out of balance
  • check in with your body
  • recalibrate before burnout hits
  • respond instead of react

And no — it doesn’t have to be perfect.

It just has to be intentional.

5 & 6. Food, Alcohol, and Gentle Awareness (Not Perfection)

Midlife wellness isn’t about restriction — it’s about support.

Focusing on:

  • more protein
  • more fiber
  • whole foods

helps stabilize blood sugar and cortisol.

Reducing alcohol (even slightly) can dramatically improve sleep, anxiety, and inflammation.

This isn’t about shame.

It’s about information and choice.

6. Radical Self-Care: Learning What You Need

Here’s the truth:

What works for your friend might not work for you.

Radical self-care means:

  • listening to your body
  • noticing patterns
  • honoring your energy

What do YOU need?

 

BONUS: Addressing nagging issues instead of ignoring them

That shoulder pain.

That digestive issue.

That constant tension.

These are not things to “just live with.”

They are messages.

It’s so easy to ignore them and keep on keeping on. (Ask me how I know! 🙂 ) BUT taking the time to dig in, find help (doctors, massage therapists, chiropractors, whatever) to finally get it taken care of!

Final Thoughts…

You don’t need to earn rest.

You don’t need to deserve care.

And you don’t need to wait until you’re completely burned out.

Your body has been doing its best.

Now it’s your turn to support it.

💛

Try a Home Retreat with me!

serenity at home: Home Design Kit
Theme: Letting Go 

If you want to plan your first retreat day with ease, I created a Home Retreat Kit to make it simple, structured, and fun.

Think gentle guidance, not rigid rules.

Think nourishment, not obligation.

Think “exhale,” not “effort.”

Because you deserve restoration—real restoration.

You don’t need to push harder.

You need to come home to yourself.

One day at a time.

One breath at a time.

One retreat at a time.

Want More Support?

Private Life Coaching:

For the ultimate, exclusive experience, check out private coaching with me. I usually have room for 2-3 new clients each month. You can learn more here.

hacking happiness:

Hacking happiness is my Life Coaching Quick Start course. Receive the first few steps for enjoying your life more. Learn more here.

Not ready to invest in yourself?

Totally understand! Grab this FREE ebook and watch for follow up emails and I’ll help you get started!

WATCH: 

And here is the video version! 🙂

I always share more personal stories in the video / podcast, in case you are wondering. The blog post is more to the point. I get chatty when I’m, well, chatting!

Subscribe to my channel for FREE:

LISTEN: 

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