Life Coaching: Is it time to change “Your Story”?

You are the creator of your story, your life.
You get to write it.

How does that feel?  Does it feel good?  Scary?  Hard to believe?  And yet, true.  Every word.  It’s time to take control of your stories!

When you just begin the work of creating your life, you realize that much of your life so far has been based on the stories others told you and you believed. Some stories were wonderful and therefore you thrive in those areas.

“You can be anything you want to be in life!”

“You are so good with money.”

“What a fabulous athlete you are!”

And some of the stories were negative and limiting and have only served you by keeping you small in those areas of your life.

“Wow, that will always be hard for you!”

“You will always have money issues.”

“You are so mean.”

“Life is hard.”

And the list goes on and on!

When you look at your life, where are you thriving?  Struggling? These areas are where you have negative stories filed away.  These stories can be lodged in any part of our life: career, our bodies, finances, relationships, how we show up in the world, anywhere. 

Once you identify “Your Story” in an area, you might even be able to trace back where you learned it.  Frankly, it usually doesn’t matter whether you know the source, what matters is you can rewrite it.  

I recently learned first hand of the power of our stories. It seems like it is such an insignificant story, but it represents something so much larger for me.

My Story

I love coffee. I love the smell and the taste. I stopped drinking coffee the day I handed in my research thesis for my masters. (I was up to a pot a day – of course, it was a mini-four cup maker!) I quit mostly because I was cutting out chemicals from my diet and the only way I could make the coffee sweet enough for my taste was with sweet-n-low.

Anyway, I have told this story for years — I graduated in 1996 — you do the math. “I just can’t drink coffee without sweet-n-low”. (Feel free to add a whine and self-pity to that sentence — it was always full of it. And, by the way, most of our negative stories come with a dose of self-pity.)

Whenever I tell the story, I also add that I miss it. I love the smell and my husband makes delicious coffee every morning so I smell it a lot.

Finally, about a month ago, when I was telling this story for the umpteenth time, my husband said, “You have got to stop telling that story. What if it has changed? Why don’t you try coffee today, right now, and see.”  I did and I loved it!! I put in a single teaspoon of sugar and I thoroughly enjoyed the flavor. I had told that story for years and it had truly affected me and how I was living.

Granted, the story is seemingly insignificant, but I really got in that moment the power of our stories. What do you tell yourself that is negative about your financial situation? Your job? Your marriage? Your weight? Your business? Your home? Your children?

If it is negative or something you don’t like, then rewrite your story.

We assume today will be just like yesterday. Today can be completely different if you allow it. You can change on a dime, really. Sometimes it takes longer, but it doesn’t have to. It is really as simple as saying, “I am ready for this to be different.” Then you need to decide what you want and begin doing the work.  I know, I know, this is when it can feel hard.  My advice…just keep going.  Take baby steps if you need to.  No one cares what you are doing, just that you are doing it.

Your story is only a story and it can be changed.

A great start to writing your new story comes from a great book I read years ago called, Zero to Zillionaire by Chellie Campbell. She says to write the story of your life so far with only the highlights. Tell about all the wins in your life, all the silver linings. (She also recommends writing your story from the perspective of your losses, but I do not recommend spending any time there — although it is quite illuminating!) Start your day reading of your exploits and see how your day unfolds.

What story do YOU need to retell??  I would love to know.  Leave a comment and add what you WANT your story to be!