I just texted this to some friends. Surprised? Shocked even? I am always amused by people who think I have it all put together, that I am done with my work and can now pass on all my worldly wisdom to everyone else. Ha! I am human and I have my work to do, too.
I am on the precipice of a huge release, something I have been holding back on for about a year. It is just an e-course and I’ve certainly released things before. But this release is bigger for me. It represents taking my career to the next level. It brings up thoughts like: “Am I good enough.” “Will they like me?” “What if no one buys it?” and, in the same thought, “Oh, my God, what if everyone buys it?”
Yep, you heard it, I have those fears, too, and this program is bringing them up in spades. I’m not even comfortable in my own skin right now. I am suppose to be doing my financials, the work I do on Friday morning but I can’t sit still enough to do them. I have cleaned out a closet, talked to friends, paced my office, and now putting it down for you all to read.
We all have a “greatest fear” and mine is around whether I am good enough to do what I do. It’s funny, I will think about something I have written or created and muse, “Ack, it’s just not that good” and the thought is almost a relief. Then I read it and think, “Oh, my God, it is so good!” in almost a panic.
When we stretch ourselves far enough in our area of fear, we are bound to freak out occasionally. The key is to call it what it is — just a stretch — and keep going.
So, what am I to do? I’ve already turned to friends I can say, “I’m freakin’ freaking out!” and they know how to talk me off my cliff. I am also going to exercise to get some of this nervous energy out of me. And then I am going to release my program next week, all horns blaring. I know I can. I know I am strong enough. And you know what else? It still scares the crap out of me.
Here’s to freakin’ freaking out…and knowing that this, too, shall pass.