(Repost Note: While I originally wrote this post in 2013, I feel like it still resonates with what I am feeling now!)

I just texted this to some friends.  Surprised?  Shocked even?  I am always amused by people who think I have it all put together, that I am done with my work and can now pass on all my worldly wisdom to everyone else.  Ha!  I am human and I have my work to do, too.

I am on the precipice of a huge release, something I have been holding back on for about a year.  It is just an e-course and I’ve certainly released things before.  But this release is bigger for me.  It represents taking my career to the next level.  It brings up thoughts like: “Am I good enough.”  “Will they like me?”  “What if no one buys it?” and, in the same thought, “Oh, my God, what if everyone buys it?”

Yep, you heard it, I have those fears, too, and this program is bringing them up in spades. I’m not even comfortable in my own skin right now.  I am suppose to be doing my financials, the work I do on Friday morning but I can’t sit still enough to do them.  I have cleaned out a closet, talked to friends, paced my office, and now putting it down for you all to read.

We all have a “greatest fear” and mine is around whether I am good enough to do what I do.  It’s funny, I will think about something I have written or created and muse, “Ack, it’s just not that good” and the thought is almost a relief.  Then I read it and think, “Oh, my God, it is so good!” in almost a panic.

When we stretch ourselves far enough in our area of fear, we are bound to freak out occasionally.  The key is to call it what it is — just a stretch — and keep going.

So, what am I to do? I’ve already turned to friends I can say, “I’m freakin’ freaking out!” and they know how to talk me off my cliff.  I am also going to exercise to get some of this nervous energy out of me.  And then I am going to release my program next week, all horns blaring.  I know I can.  I know I am strong enough.  And you know what else?  It still scares the crap out of me.

Here’s to freakin’ freaking out…and knowing that this, too, shall pass.



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